Redeeming Doubt 4/22/12

Redeeming Doubt

Rev. Lee Ann Bryce

Community Christian Church

April 22, 2012

When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” After he said this, he showed them his hands and his side. Then the disciples rejoiced when they saw the Lord. Jesus said to them again, “Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you.” When he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them, “Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive the sins of any, they are forgiven them; if you retain the sins of any, they are retained.” But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

A week later his disciples were again in the house, and Thomas was with them. Although the doors were shut, Jesus came and stood among them and said, “Peace be with you.” Then he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it in my side. Do not doubt but believe.” Thomas answered him, “My Lord and my God!” Jesus said to him, “Have you believed because you have seen me? Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.” Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name.                 John 20:19-31

I grew up going to Sunday School every week and our text for today seemed to stick with me.  As a child, I suppose I always thought of Thomas as “bad.”  I knew the story well.  After Jesus had been crucified, the other disciples told Thomas that Jesus was alive, but Thomas refused to believe it.  He demanded to see Christ for himself.   Thomas was the dull, doubting follower of Christ who had no faith.  In my child’s mind the takeaway message was clear – don’t be like Thomas!  Believe!  Don’t doubt!

Over the next two weeks we’ll be taking a look at some of the post-resurrection appearances of Jesus.  As you examine these texts it becomes clear:  Jesus’ followers, his closest friends, knew Jesus in a different way after his death than they did before his death.  Before his death they knew him as a finite, mortal, flesh and blood human being.  Specifically he was a Galilean Jew.  If his body was typical for that time he might have stood just over five feet tall and weighed 110 pounds.  (This would be small by today’s standards, but is considered representative of a first century male.)  Jesus, 110 pounds soaking wet, had to eat and sleep like any other human being.  He was born and he died.

After his death, Jesus’ followers came to know him in a different way.  Paul experienced him on the road to Damascus as a brilliant light and a voice.  In II Corinthians, Paul says, “Even if we did once know Christ in the flesh, that is not how we know him now.”  (5:16)  In the gospel stories of Easter, it is clear that Jesus after Easter is different from what he was like before his death.  In our text for today from John chapter 20, Jesus passes through walls and mysteriously enters locked rooms.  Earlier in John Jesus is mistaken for a gardener near the tomb.  In Luke two of his followers walk with him for some time and have an in-depth conversation with him without recognizing him (Luke 24).  He appears and then vanishes.  Though we’re not quite sure what this post-Easter Jesus is, the gospel accounts all indicate that he was significantly different after his death than the flesh-and-blood person they had come to know before his death.

Given this background and the confusing mysterious appearances of Jesus after his death, doesn’t Thomas get a bum rap?  In several gospel passages Thomas shows himself to be a practical, concrete sort of guy.  In the midst of Jesus’ long farewell discourse before his death, Jesus assures his followers, “In my Father’s house are many dwelling places…where I am, there you may be also.  And you know the way to the place where I am going.” All the other disciples nod their heads like they know what Jesus is talking about, but Thomas replies, “Lord, we don’t know where you’re going.  How can we know the way?”  Thomas is plainspoken and gutsy.  He wants to understand what’s going on, and be able to face the situation at hand. 

In our gospel passage for today, Jesus has already shown his hands and his sides to all the rest of the gathered disciples earlier when Thomas wasn’t around.  And Thomas is just not the sort of person to say, “If all ten of you saw Jesus at the same time, then that’s good enough for me!”  Thomas wants proof.  He’s merely asking for the same assurance that the others have already been shown.  He says, “Unless I see…I will not believe.” 

And with these words, Thomas becomes a stand in for all of us who want to see something for ourselves before we decide whether or not it is true.  Often we distance ourselves from Thomas by pretending we would respond differently.  When we call someone a doubting Thomas it’s generally not a compliment.  We assume Jesus was chiding Thomas with the words, “Have you believed because you’re seen me?  Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”  But Jesus wasn’t scolding Thomas.  He offers his hands and his side.  Jesus gives Thomas exactly what he needs to believe.

In our culture, doubt is often viewed as a weakness.  We value strong, decisive opinions and actions.  A “strong faith” implies that no doubt is present.  That’s all well and good, but what do you do when you pray and wonder if anyone is listening?  What do you do when you question whether God really exists?  When you have trouble believing the old religious formulas?   When doubt creeps into your life and leaves you sarcastic and cynical about faith?  Some people keep those thoughts and feelings to themselves because they don’t want to be judged by those who seem to have all the answers.  Others decide it’s all hocus pocus and give up altogether on religious faith or traditions that seem irrelevant or outmoded.

Think about it like this.  During these past years of economic uncertainty, perhaps we’re tempted to give up altogether on investing in the stock market.  After all, we’ve seen it  spiral downward and we see our investments lose money.  During time like that, fear rises and we’re not sure what to do.  Some investors bury their heads in the sand, hoping things will get better.   They look with envy on the savvy investors who seem to be doing well.  Others respond by panicking and selling their stock and putting the cash in a metal box for safekeeping.  Most financial advisors would say that neither response is the appropriate one.  They might even say, “Buy more!” when the market is down.

Religious faith is a bit like that.  Or should I say religious doubt?  When doubt creeps into our souls, it may frighten us.  We may feel like hiding or running away.  There is an alternative response.  What if we understood doubt as fertile ground for growing our faith.  Doubt helps us to ask deeper questions, notice things that were invisible to us before, seek for what has been hidden, test what we think we believe to see if it has staying power. 

A faith without some doubts is like a human body without any antibodies in it.  People who blithely go through life too busy or indifferent to ask hard questions about why they believe as they do will find themselves defenseless against either the experience of tragedy or the probing questions of a smart skeptic.  A person’s faith can collapse almost overnight if she has failed over the years to listen patiently to her own doubts, which should only be discarded after long reflection.  (The Reason for God:  Belief in an age of skepticism by Tim Keller.)

Maybe we’re reluctant to confront our doubt because we’re afraid we’ll find we’ve made a bad religious investment.  On the other hand, if we are willing to take the risk and stay for a while in the land of doubt, we may find doubt as the door into a vast expanse of faith.  If we deny or run from doubt, we will always wonder what is or is not true.  But, if we face our doubt, we may just find that faith is real.  That God exists.  The there is more to those old religious formulas than we thought.  We might be surprised to discover that we are held in the palm of God’s hand;  that our certainty and trust have grown. 

Yes, we may just find that faith is the best investment we could have made.  Like Thomas, we just couldn’t see it until we passed through the rocky, inhospitable land of doubt.